


Squishiness

by sqbr



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Challenge Response, Community: landofferelden, F/M, Fanfiction, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-03
Updated: 2010-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-10 08:58:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqbr/pseuds/sqbr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shale and Sten's relationship during and after the Blight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Squishiness

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in a single morning for a "romance with non-romanceable characters" challenge for [landofferelden](http://community.livejournal.com/landofferelden/) (which seems to have died), overall I think it turned out ok but the ending is alas a bit rushed.

The Frostback Mountain path was icy and steep and for long stretches the party was too focussed on not falling to their deaths for much conversation. But as the gates to Orzammar faded into the distance Shale asked Sten "What does your Qun say of dwarves?"

"I have not met any dwarves in our lands, and I do not think the Qun has any specific rules about them," he replied. "But I see no reason for dwarves to be treated any differently than elves and men. They are not qunari, but all are equal in the eyes of the Qun."

"And what of golems?" she asked.

"That is a more difficult question. It is possible that there are some who would argue that they are mindless machines, like a mill or a clock. Were I in a position to discuss the question with the priests I would argue otherwise, it is clear to me that you at least are a being as capable of enlightenment as any other. Whether or not this is true of other golems of course, I cannot say. Most of the ones we have encountered showed no obvious signs of intelligence."

"One might say the same of most men," she said.

"That is very true," he replied.

* * *

Sten looked at the object he had been given with some slight confusion.

"It is a painting," he said.

"Yes," replied Shale. "How observant of you to notice."

"Of a kitten," he continued, a little more uncertainly.

"Yes," she said, irritably. "I asked the warden what you liked, and he said paintings. Leliana was there, and she said that you liked kittens. Thus, a painting of a kitten. If you do not like it I will take it back to the merchant, I have other things I can spend my money on."

"I do like it, thank you. But why have you given it to me?"

"Do the Qunari not give gifts? It is a custom here that when you are friends with someone, and you wish for them to be happy, you give them a gift. You are closest thing to a friend I have had in all the time I can remember, and it...seemed like the right thing to do. You are under no obligation to keep it." She felt very silly.

"We do give gifts," said Sten "Although the circumstances are usually more formal and specific. And I appreciate the sentiment. I will endeavour to return the favour at some time." He looked at the picture again and wore an expression that may have been approaching a smile.  


* * *

"I have been forced to revise my opinion of you squishy creatures," said Shale. "You and the Grey Warden are not so useless as I thought you would be."

"You know, Morrigan," said Zevran. "I believe we have just been insulted."

"I would think you would be used to it by now," said Morrigan.

Sten grunted with displeasure. "I do not consider myself squishy, kadan."

"Perhaps squishiness is not the right word," admitted Shale. "Maybe fleshy or...meaty. And you are quite remarkably unsquishy, as squishy creatures go. I consider it one of your more endearing features. But were I to crush your head like a grape, well, it would take a little longer but you would still, inevitably, squish." She demonstrated the action in the air to the side of his head. He placed his hand on hers and stilled it.

"I would not recommend that you try such a thing," he said irritably.

"Oh no. I much prefer you unsquished. That was my point." Hmm. This wasn't going quite as well as she'd hoped. But bravery in the face of one's foe and all that. "In fact I must admit that I...I have sometimes considered that I might consider becoming a creature of flesh again myself. There advantages to such a form that I...that I might like to try."

"Advantages? I suppose. But you are such a powerful warrior. You would return to your old form? Be a dwarf and a woman? You would become small and weak. Do you truly wish such a thing?"

"So you consider dwarves and women to be inferior to my current form?" she asked.

He paused. "Not...inferior, no. They are all part of the variety of the universe, and have their place in it. Perhaps I am too narrow minded: I am a warrior, and so I value those properties which give a warrior strength. If you would be happier being a merchant or smith then perhaps it would be better to change back. But did you not choose this form in order to become a better warrior? You found the limitations of your old form frustrating before, it seems likely that you would again."

"You may be right," she said, a little regretfully. Because he was: Not that women couldn't be warriors, but she really liked being able to crush the darkspawn under her feet like ants. How would she feel if they were suddenly bigger than her? Not to mention stronger.

"Is this a result of our previous conversation?" asked Zevran. "Have I convinced you of the joys of the flesh?"

"No," said Shale.

"As flattering as it is, you should not go to such trouble for my sake. As much as I am sure that you would make for a very sexy dwarf, the Warden has sadly been quite insistent that he is not willing to share me. A great tragedy for the ladies of the world, I know, but it is a burden I am forced to bear." He pouted insincerely. "But wait, is it perhaps not me who has tempted you. Is it Oghren? He is one of your people after all, though not a very fine specimen. Or Morrigan? Who could resist such fine..." Here he was interrupted by a small ball of lightening fizzing in front of his face. "Or could it be Ste..."

"If you do not shut up, elf, I will crush you into pulp."

* * *

"What is this?" asked Shale, looking at the small object in her hands. It looked to be a small grey rock. It was not even a very interesting type of rock. Ah, and Sten was usually to be relied upon to to be the one member of the party whose actions made any sense.

"A stone," he replied. How informative.

"I can see that". She said. "But why have you given it to me? I know that I am made of rock, but you don't see me going around giving you people random chunks of meat."

"As you see," he said, demonstrating. "It has been cut in half. The centre of the stone contains crystals, which in my judgement have some moderate aesthetic appeal. It seemed plausible to me that you would like it."

He was right, they were quite pretty. "It is a gift then?" she said, surprised.

"Yes," he replied.

* * *

If there was one thing that Shale had learned from her travels with the Warden it was not to believe in false dichotomies. Stone vs Squishy. Practicality vs Happiness. Evil vs Good.

And sometimes, when you were given two impossible choices, the correct choice was neither.

* * *

 

Sten was glad to be back in Par Vollen. He felt truly comfortable for the first time in years, not only because he could walk outside without being assaulted by the cold and damp, but because he knew his place, he was able to fit into the reassuring structure of society again.

Because he had experience of so many different unusual foes, for the time being he had been placed as an instructor helping the Tamassrans train the young warriors. It was strange, to be asked to mostly work with words and not his sword, but the change was not unpleasant.

One morning he was approached by one of the lesser instructors, an aide who mostly worked with new converts and those who were made warriors more for lack of any other better option than because they were well suited to the role. "One of the new converts wishes to speak to you," he said.

"What of it," replied Sten. "It is not my place to deal with them."

"She has been most insistent." Sten raised his eyebrows at "she". "The Tamassrans would have ignored her request but she is...quite unique. And she does appear to know you."

Sten was struck by a thought. Could it really be? "This recruit is not a being of stone is she?" The thought made him oddly happy.

"Not...exactly. Please come, and you can see for yourself."

Standing in the centre of the training room he was taken to was not a golem, but a dwarf woman Sten had never seen before. She was short, as is usual for that people, but taller than most other dwarves he had met. Her eyes burned a fierce pale blue from behind greying short black hair. "Hello Sten," she said.

"I take it you are Shale, then," he replied "I am glad to see you, and welcome you to the Qun. But it would appear you have chosen to return to your original form: having done so, why are you here in the training halls of the warriors?"

"This is not my original form," she said, her voice much the same if a little higher and less gravelly. "That is lost, burned and rotted centuries ago. This is a new form, one that is both flesh and...not." She grinned and walked across the room towards him, each step making the room vibrate with a familiar booming thud. "I would have to get a stepladder to do it," she said, standing next to him "But I am sure I could still crush your head like a grape." She poked him in the stomach and he had to take a step back so that he did not fall.

"I still do not recommended that you try such a thing," he said.

"Well then," she said with a smile he was not quite sure how to interpret "I will just have to try something else."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Merchant's Tale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871801) by [ThePaintedScorpionDoll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePaintedScorpionDoll/pseuds/ThePaintedScorpionDoll)




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